Светлин Наков
от Всичко за 1 лев, свободната енциклопедия
| Версия от 09:41, 30 дек 2005 85.187.162.7 (Беседа | приноси) ← Go to previous diff |
Версия от 21:05, 3 яну 2006 87.126.45.57 (Беседа | приноси) Как Наков се продаде на Тъмните сили Go to next diff → |
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| Ред 8: | Ред 8: | ||
| На 20 години Светлин Наков продава технологията на своята доячка за мляко на корпорация "[[Кибертрон]]" и си купува своя [[Голф 2]], с който чат-пат отскача до [[Хасково]], където се подлага периодично на [[Анизотропна липосукция]]. | На 20 години Светлин Наков продава технологията на своята доячка за мляко на корпорация "[[Кибертрон]]" и си купува своя [[Голф 2]], с който чат-пат отскача до [[Хасково]], където се подлага периодично на [[Анизотропна липосукция]]. | ||
| - | == Как Наков се продаде на Тъмните сили == | + | 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| - | [[Картинка:NakovAndTheDarkForces.jpg|left|thumb|Светлин Наков се продаде на тъмните сили]] | + | |
| - | Две години по-късно Светлин бива привлечен от [[Дявол|Тъмните сили]] и [[Майкрософт|Microsoft]], за да работи по техен съвместен проект за усъвършенстване на доячката за мляко и внедряването й в ''Windows 2008 Embedded''. В проекта като консултант се включва и незаконният брат на Светлин [[Ахмед Мерчев]], който разширява технологията с ново поколение изкуствен интелект, известeн под името "[[естествен интелект]]". Естественият интелект и интеграцията му с доячката за мляко пръв тества Светлин Наков. Експериментът е успешен и Светлин си вгражда трайно "естествения интелект", който го вдъхновява да напише 3 дебели книги за изобретението си (http://www.nakov.com/books/). | + | |
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| - | В момента Светлин Наков разработва ново поколение доячки за мляко, базирани на последните научни постижения на корпорация "[[Кибертрон]]", която тайно купува [[Майкрософт|Microsoft]] през 2005 г. Носят се слухове, че лично [[Бил Гейтс]] изпробвал доячката на Светлин и тя му помогнала да вземе стратегическото решение да продаде [[Майкрософт|Microsoft]] на [[Кибертрон|Корпорацията]]. | + | |
| == "...и аз ше гласувам" == | == "...и аз ше гласувам" == | ||
Версия от 21:05, 3 яну 2006
| Съдържание |
Началото
Светлин Наков е роден в малко предбалканско селце край Велико Търново.
Още от малък той пасе кравите на своя съсед Вени Марковски, който впоследствие се оказва негов баща. На 4-годишна възраст Светлин изобретява компютърен модел на ново поколение доячка за мляко, която по-късно реализира в домашната си лаборатория и лично я тества върху брат си Преслав Наков. Оказало се, че не само кравите дават мляко, а постижението вдъхновило Светлин по компютърните технологии и вградените системи.
На 20 години Светлин Наков продава технологията на своята доячка за мляко на корпорация "Кибертрон" и си купува своя Голф 2, с който чат-пат отскача до Хасково, където се подлага периодично на Анизотропна липосукция.
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"...и аз ше гласувам"
Светлин Наков е гласувал на парламентарните избори 2005. Не е известно за кого точно, но по всяка вероятност за партията на илюминатите.
Наков и нападението на МАРСианците
По силата на таен договор с Корпорацията през 2004 г., киборгът Ахмед Мерчев възлага на Наков секретен проект за създаване на високотехнологичен крак със заголен баджак за ново поколение роботизирани чалга изпълнителки. Кракът е естествено допълнение към ръката на роботите, които Мерчев и екипът му разработват съвместно с илюминатите.
"За къде е чалгата без голи крака, силиконови цици, софт порно и кухи бастуни?" - пише Светлин Наков пред в. Пари в своята популярна статия "Газ, боза, халва, пирони".
За да прикрие дейността си по секретния проект за създаване на високотехнологичния кибербаджак, Светлин Наков инициира създаването на Българска асоциация на разгонените секретарки (БАРС) и Национална академия за разпространение на сифилис (НАРС) и влиза с двата крака в порно индустрията. Не след дълго се включва и в гей организацията ISECA, за да работи заедно с нейните активисти Недялков, Chervarium и зеления крокодил по заснемането и разпространението на няколко порно сериала на селска тематика.
Само няколко седмици след премиерата на първия успешен порно сериал, разработен съвместно с експерети от ISECA и БАРС, поръчителят на "заголения кибербаджак" Ахмед Мерчев усеща проекта силно застрашен, поради влеченията на Наков към порното. На помощ на Мерчев се притичват извънземните от планетата МАРС, които отвличат Наков веднага след презентацията му във ФМИ на тема "Програмен модел за раздвижване на голи задници и асинхронно изпълнение на свирки в .NET Framework". По решение на марсианците и Мерчев организациите на Наков (БАРС и НАРС) променят официално наименованията и дейността си и продължават порно и гей проявите си под дълбоко прикритие.
БАРС
Организацията БАРС получава името "Българска асоциация на разработчиците на софтуер" и започва да организира събирания за осеменяване на млади студентки от ФМИ, които Наков нарича "семенари" (http://www.devbg.org/seminars.php).
НАРС
НАРС получава името "Национална академия по разработка на софтуер" и започва професионално обучение на проститутки и жигола. Прочутата академия подбира кандидатите с обяви по сайтовете за работа и по форумите за програмисти, а обученията провежда в порно студиото си във ФМИ, използвайки софтуерът "Microsoft .NET Fuckwork Community Edition", предоставен им безплатно от партньорите им Майкрософт.
Каспичан
Носят се слухове, че Наков върти съмнителен бизнес с фалшив алкохол в Каспичан. Очевидчи твърдят, че са го виждали тайно да се среща с агенти на извънземните, Ахмед Мерчев, Цар Киро, Райчо Цигането и Бай Мангал в Каспичан на гарата.
"Цапвам още едно и ставам извънземен. Всички сме от Каспичан!" - често казва самият Светлин Наков на 17 ракии.
Истината, обаче е, че той просто прикрива порно бизнеса си чрез афери с фалшиф алкохол и вицове за програмисти.
"Какъв програмист си ако не можеш сам да си направиш ракията?" - смее се Наков в интервю за в-к Компютри.
